I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
