Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
