You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
