God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
