dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
