It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
