Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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