so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
whose parrot is this?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
