Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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