things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mom said you looked used
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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