I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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