At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
