found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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