Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
