Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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