We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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