What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
whose parrot is this?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
