I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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