he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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