I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
