i would punch a child for taco bell
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
