when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
