This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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