Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
