im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it glows. i had to have it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
