You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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