Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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