Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
