You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
