cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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