Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
