i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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