i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
