The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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