theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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