maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
