Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
