Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
