come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
