I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
