So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
