we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
