i love accidental penises.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
