I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
