Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
