Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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