Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dignity is for republicans.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
