Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
