i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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