It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
