We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
